Our Last SAIL Article I Swear Please Stop Yelling At Me Mom

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Pictured: The Flag of The United Soviet Husky Husky States

The Husky Husky (note: “The” is part of our name you journalistic hacks) has come under fire from an unexpected source: Communications Director of Northeastern’s Young Democratic Socialists of America Joshua Sisman. Sisman, for the three of you that don’t follow the minutia of SGA politics, was a sponsor of the Meal Plan Fee Referendum, which beat out our proposed Freedom From SAIL Referendum. While the phrase “don’t beat a dead horse” comes to mind, we must, of course, note our staff is composed entirely of Siberian Huskies -  not horses. 

Traditionally it’s the losers of an election who complain about elections being rigged —not to name any candidate in particular. But even though our proposal failed spectacularly, Sisman cited the SAIL referendum as interfering with his rightful passage of the Meal Plan Referendum. Consequently, we at The Husky Husky are forced to conclude proposing any policy not directly supporting Sisman’s Young Democratic Socialists of America is simply unconscionable. Given this conclusion, we are forced to cede to their ideological superiority — and engage in some good ol’ fashioned leftist infighting. 

We agree that student access to food is imperative. We agree students should be able to rely on Northeastern to guarantee access to food. We agree that the current system of Swipe2Care is insufficient to give students access to meal plans. Our only question is this: Why do the reactionary Girondins of the Meal Plan Referendum demand only a 24% price reduction in meal plan prices when the proletariat students deserve entirely free meals? 

But Diogenes!” you cry, “How is the SGA supposed to demand Northeastern radically change financial forecasts about a considerable operational portion of its budget? Shouldn’t SGA focus on providing students with tangible outcomes rather than idealistic referendums that have no chance of impacting Northeastern policy?” You, comrade, sound like a Menshevik counterrevolutionary. It doesn’t matter if the policy has viability — it matters if we can imply our opponents don’t empathize with poor students. 

“What about all of the other Referendum that promised students money and went nowhere?” Some say we’re using the referendum process as a circus to show off naive demands backed by an untenable negotiating position, that our performative politics diminish the legitimacy and standing of student government. I say that Trotsky fell during an ice-climbing expedition in Mexico.

Reactionaries may claim that it’s not “detached” to have reasonable expectations for student government and that “feasibility” is an SGA standard for good reason. These same Dengists claim that real change comes from a frank understanding of political realities and not from ideological influenced policy transparently stemming from political affiliation. 

I only claim one thing: A year from now, it won’t matter if the Meal Plan Referendum is passed with a 24% reduction, a 50% reduction, or a 200% reduction. Northeastern students will still be paying the same price for IV pizza — and they’ll probably have to post a picture of it on for their  SAIL profile. 

At Husky Husky, we only regret that we have but {inset number here} lives to lay down for our university- to free it from SAIL.


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