Following a well-thought-out end to Northeastern University’s spring 2020 semester, Students weren’t at all concerned with how the Covid-19 pandemic would affect this year’s commencement.
“Northeastern has proven itself to be capable in times of crisis.” Said Bjorn Smith, a 8th-year civil-engineering major, with a nervous smile and cursory glances to the roofs of surrounding buildings. “I’m sure that however commencement is handled, it will be perfect.” His eyes continued to scan the university’s arboretum campus as he scurried away at a pace that could be described as normal and non-conspicuous. Eyewitnesses later reported that Northeastern mascot, Paws, was seen on the roof of the Curry Student Center dejectedly cleaning what looked like a Barret Model 98B sniper rifle.
Students did not have to wait long to hear the University’s decision. Northeastern recently announced that commencement would take place by “just asking for everyone’s email and using this hip new Google+ service.”
Upon further inquiry, President Aoun could barely hold his excitement. “Our student body requires the best sendoff into the working world and that’s why we partnered with Google to host the events on Google Hangouts!” After reaffirming that there is, in fact, a video-call service called Google Hangouts, our next question was why to choose hangouts over literally anything else. After pausing for a moment, Aoun responded “We considered Slack, mostly in part due to the party parrot emote,” He proceeded to emulate the wild club dance of the parrot, in what can only be described as a divine encapsulation of the human spirit before continuing “but we realized that students have a habit of joining many slacks and not contributing meaningfully to any of them. We want students to be engaged at every step of the way, so we thought ‘What do students use every step of the way? Google!”
More details are to come, but in the meantime, President Aoun advises all students to make use of the expansive library of emojis to denote their google hangout status and to accept the invitation from Northeastern when it comes.
After looking further into google hangouts, and seeing Paws scoping out The Husky Husky staff building, we at The Husky Husky have come to fully support how the University is handling this situation.
