Boston, MA - The Northeastern community was shocked earlier this weekend to discover that the admissions department had accidentally swapped all incoming Northeastern Freshmen with Florida State University’s incoming freshman class. The Freshman class - whose weekend arrest total was higher than their average SAT scores - were originally accepted to FSU only for an IT error to transfer all students to Northeastern.
The switch, which happened earlier this spring, was noticed only when one would-be-FSU freshman noticed the Fens Geese were not alligators.
“I was getting kronked at Phi Delta Kappa Epsilon when I dared Chad to wrestle a gator,” said Freshman Kyle Chapman. “By the time I realized my mistake - it was too late - he had already disappeared into a fine mist of feathers, blood, and crystal light.”
Northeastern admissions released a statement this Monday addressing the revelation and an unrelated 5000% spike in alcohol-related fatalities.
“In retrospect, the decision to have campus IT handle the severs for all Common App applications was a mistake,” said Elizabeth Cheron, dean of NEU admissions. “After turning our severs off and on again they sort of gave up and replaced the admissions system with the Florida State University admission system. This experience may sound familiar to anyone trying to access a Snell printer.”
Northeastern freshmen have been reported wandering around Florida - asking strangers why the weather is so nice, everyone seems happy, and what country their NUin program is in. Notably, Northeastern is still charging all 7,000 Freshman applicants full tuition, rent, and fees for using the Marino basketball court.
In unrelated news, packages sent to Northeastern ResMail must finish their six-year communications degree at Florida State before students are allowed to pick them up.
