Boston, MA – Many university students already struggle to focus during lectures, and the recent hybrid NUflex plans will make focusing even harder. The quarantine destroying our last few brain cells won’t help either. Northeastern faculty Professor Hoover has figured out how to get students to stop recording Tik Toks and listen to lectures instead. Instead of relying on antiquated realistic video lectures, this innovative professor will now match the flat delivery of their online lectures with two-dimensional, full-body anime avatars.
When asked what they thought of their colleague’s actions, a boomer professor said: “These avatars don’t look anything like us! This will confuse our students to a level even our lectures can’t achieve!”
We decided to discuss this new pedagogy with Northeastern Anime Club President: Garth W. Eeb.
Gamer-Bot: “Garth, what do you think of this professor’s new plan?”
Garth: “It’s ingenious! It will ensure that all of us weebs–I mean, normal students–will be enraptured with the lecture being given to us! Especially with the level of detail on these avatars.”
Gamer-Bot: “What specifically about the level of detail is so important?”
Garth: “Simply put, physics. Everything has to be realistic to be engaging, and the best way to be realistic is with physics. Not boring, real-world physics either. No, we need skirts flying up unreasonably high and men’s shirts spontaneously sliding off and exposing their flawless physiques!”
Gamer-Bot: “NANI THE FUCK!?!”
Garth: “You clearly don’t get it, you hater of Japanese culture. At least professor Hoover understands us.”
We decided to go meet with professor Hoover and ask for his input.
Prof Hoover - “I really love using this new unorthodox technology! Although it may seem redundant, I love to rewatch my lectures. I find them to be even more fascinating when an anime avatar replaces me! Because.. you know, I’m only watching to reinforce the material… really just for that...”
When asked why he was using various avatars, including one described as an “anime schoolgirl with clothing 3 sizes too small (who is actually a 10,000 year old demon lord),” he simply said we were lacking the SAIL-approved “global mindset” needed to understand the appeal. Apparently, neither were the NUPD officers that showed up shortly after we alerted them.
