Boston, Ma - Today during a short press conference the REAL president of Northeastern University said his REAL administration would be launching an investigation into the recent SGA election. The recent election hosted incompetence and blatant dishonesty the likes of which we had not seen since the previous SGA election. This prompted the Aoun administration to speculate that there had been outside involvement as there is no way that SGA accidentally fucked up this bad on their own.
To eliminate any suspicion of foreign intervention the Aoun administration will be investigating any links between New Horizons, Boston University, and the Fens Geese.
“It is evident that all of these external actors would benefit from our students being distracted by the kindergarten politics of SGA” said one of the investigators. Insider information revealed that the primary targets of the investigation would be Boston University and the Fens Geese. “Boston University in particular stood to gain a lot by distracting students from the fact that we lost the beanpot and must get it back in glorious combat” said another investigator. As for the Fens Geese, our analysts think that they are attempting to sow a divide between honest Northeastern students and students in SGA. A divide as such would give the perfect opportunity for the feathered insurgents to launch a successful political campaign.
The Husky Husky reached out to New Horizons for comment regarding the pending investigation. However, the only thing they sent was another cease and desist letter for our lawyer to wipe his ass with.
If you have any information or complaints regarding the investigation the Husky Husky asks that you to email them to suckmyassbuddy@gmail.com so our editorial staff can laugh at them
