Boston, MA - In a stunning display of academic fraud, 10 Northeastern students were discovered early this morning having not cheated on the finals for CS2500, colloquially known as “Fundies”. The student’s submitted work was discovered by proprietary detection software to have been entirely original code, not stolen from either previous students or StackOverflow.
“It was horrible,” wrote CS2500 Professor Ben Benanke in his OSCCR writeup “I couldn’t just assign them whatever grade the kid they cheated off got. I had to review each assignment individually and judge it based on the grading standards. Well, I say ‘me’, but obviously, it goes without saying I had a TA do it.”
OSCCCCR responded swiftly, meting out the harshest punishment available to humankind - forcing the students to retake “fundies." OSCCCCCCCR Leader Bob Dimmadome had this to say - “We briefly considered the death penalty - but thought that would be too kind. This way, these students will have to listen to 90 kids bitch all over again about how tough an introduction to CS course is, even though they get partners and access to literally thousands of students who have already passed the class.”
The Husky Husky requested comment from the Justice Department on this blatant abuse of human rights - but unfortunately, the spokesman made no comment, as he was too busy burning bundles of classified paper while muttering “they can never know”.
One of the 10 students, who has requested to stay anonymous, had this to say in his defense: “I knew I was doing the wrong thing, but I just wanted to learn how to code. I don’t deserve this punishment - these kids are literally the worst. They’re acting like their fucking engineers or something actually difficult - it’s just an introduction class”
