Boston, MA – Dryer wait times have become unbearable in the Westin, an inexplicable phenomenon that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that there are about 3-5 working dryers on a good day. Desperate times have evidently resulted in desperate measures, with many N.U.inmates stringing up clotheslines between the Westin and nearby buildings to avoid the hellscape that is the Westin laundry room.
An intrepid, dashingly handsome (and did I mention single?) Husky Husky reporter reached out to an N.U.in student for her perspective. The student, who requested to remain anonymous, told the Husky Husky, “By the time I got a dryer and finished my laundry last time, I hadn’t seen the sunlight in days.”
The student gestured to the clothesline spanning between her 20th floor window and the adjacent Marriott, “Now that I have the clothesline, I can finish my next load of laundry before the end of the semester!”
When asked why she appeared to be alone in a double room, the student’s eyes welled up, and she stammered, “my roommate… [sniffles] ...there was an accident…she was trying to get her clothes off the line...lost her balance...I miss her so much! [crying]”
While the students seem enthusiastic about their new solution, Copley residents and the hotel administration are unimpressed. Complaints ranging from “Those stupid clotheslines block our view,” “Those dumb kids smashed my window trying to anchor a clothesline to the building! That should be illegal!”, and “These panties just fell on my head” are increasingly common among displeased locals.
A spokesperson for the N.U.in program told the Husky Husky, “We are aware that many students feel hung out to dry by the laundry situation, and while we hate to be the wet blanket, we must draw the line. We aren’t going to throw in the towel until this problem is ironed out – we expect any students involved to come clean. Students, feel free to drop us a line with any questions.”
