Big Cranky
In West Village East I was born and raised, at the Back Bay Fens I spend most of my days, beating up geese to release pent-up rage, or at the bottom of the river sipping IPAs.
Living Off-Campus: Interview with a Second-Class CitizenThe time has come, as it does every year, for us to regret our current housing situations and daydream of what life could be like next fall, with a reasonable housing number. As we once again commit to the devil’s charade of picking our futures blindly out of a hat, with nothing but the faint hope of an open spot in West Village G to guide us.
Peace Talks Collapse as Goose Bloc Breaks Ceasefire Yesterday, a landmark summit was held in the deserted Stwest dining hall to open negotiations between Northeastern and the Goose Liberation Army (GLA). A cessation of hostilities had been called for by the GLA, and they met with King Husky II to discuss peace terms.
Huntington News Reports Events in a Timely, Unbiased, and Spell-Checked FashionWhile uninteresting on the surface, this journalist was surprised when a report from Huntington news landed in my inbox, somehow avoiding the spam filter. As I hovered over the delete button, I was taken aback by the date on the article: November 26th. 2020. Not only had Huntington News managed to push out a relevant article in record time, they had managed to spell the entire date correctly.
Breaking: Engineering Student HappyBoston, MA -- The Northeastern campus was rocked on Tuesday when third year mechanical engineering student Andrew Roberts, who asked to remain anonymous, allegedly woke up with an optimistic outlook on the day and “happy thoughts”. The horrifying incident was immediately reported by Carol Livermore, his fluid dynamics professor and mandatory reporter.
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