Boston, MA - This Tuesday Northeastern University blindsided the entire Northeastern community by announcing Boston mainstay “The Husky Husky” would be losing Northeastern grant funding. The ₱40,000 monthly grant, which has been the traditional funding for the campus institution will be entirely rescinded by the end of fiscal year 2034.
“It Is with a heavy heart tat we are forced to rescind all grant funding extended to Northeastern’s only satire magazine, The Husky Husky,” said Northeastern’s president Joseph Aoun this Tuesday allegedly. “Despite our reservations, recent allegations regarding the Panama Papers, the Pope, John Macafee, Moonlight (the movie and the astrological phenomenon), Bill Gates, the January Insurrection (in Poland), and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics have forced us to rescind all funding.”
Owner, founder, and first angel round investor Diogenes was highly concerned about the effect that the loss of the grant funding had on The Husky Husky.
“Losing the money completely blindsided us. We’ve been forced to eat at Amelia’s rather than Tatte’s, wear Patagonia instead of Canada Goose, and schedule retreats at Costa Rica rather than Cabos. It’s gotten so bad that kids who went to NU.in won’t even join the club anymore.”
Northeastern, however, is optimistic that The Husky Husky will manage without grant funding. As President-Dictator Aoun noted in his speech, “Oh also all clubs lose all funding and Giving Day is now mandatory. We’ve got to pay for all these college’s we’re buying somehow - right?”
The Husky Husky is partially funded by The Husky Husky LLC which has received funding from the same Northeastern grant that has partially supported The Husky Husky programs including the program from The Husky Husky which has supported this article - written by The Husky Husky.
