Student Threatens a Discrimination Lawsuit Against Sorority, Says He "Just Wants to Meet Females"

After two months of begging and pleading with the members of Ima Nota Beta, sixth year computer science major Ivan Malone threatened to launch a discrimination lawsuit against the sorority for excluding him on the basis of gender.

“Just because I’m a male–and I’m an alpha male, by the way–doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to join a sorority,” said Malone. “It’s not okay that men are systematically excluded from so many things. Where’s the equality?”

Malone, who claims that he has only ever seen two women in his CS classes, says that the main reason he wants to join Ima Nota Beta is because he has trouble meeting women in college. After reporting the incident as a Title IX violation didn’t work, he threatened to file a discrimination lawsuit, saying it was his “last resort.”

“I tried everything! Someone recommended that I switch majors, so I became a nursing major for two years, but none of them would talk to me! They wouldn’t even sit next to me in class! I even tried showering! Then someone said I should join more clubs, so I went to the women’s hockey tryouts, but apparently you need to be able to skate for that.”

When asked for comment, Ima Nota Beta said his gender wasn’t the main issue. “We don’t really care that he’s a guy,” said Ima Nota Beta president Sarah Ritty. “He’s just really creepy. He keeps coming to our meetings without permission, and he’s tried to sniff my hair on multiple occasions.”

Ivan Malone now has several restraining orders against him and has been pepper sprayed six times, but he says he’s “resilient and determined in the fight against adversity,” whatever that means.