Northeastern Tunnel Construction Inadvertently Awakens the Balrog of Morgoth

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Pictured: Aoun and the Fellowship burst into a corridor, pursued by an ancient demon of unimaginable evil.

“Run! Flee!”

Aoun burst out of the hallway, flanked on both sides by Northeastern Students in full hockey gear. “We must keep the Hobbits safe!” shouted Aoun towards Paws and the other normal-sized members of the fellowship, his voice faint against the harsh sound of scrambling feet. 

“We have names, dude,” Objected Nick Scarra, Northeastern’s 5’7” goalkeeper. 

“I’m 6 feet tall! I’m not a hobbit!” Squeaked Jordan Harris, Northeastern’s 5’11”  defensive captain. The diminutive Hobbits - fear forgotten - moved angrily towards Aoun, only to be stopped in their tracks



Doom - the drumbeats rolled over the assembled party, thundering throughout the cavernous hall they found themselves in. Then, a horn - and the rapid sound of an approaching horde. Curry had become a deathtrap. The once-sweet taste of Popeyes turned to ash in the mouths of the gathered fellowship. 



Doom - as the sound of the drumbeats, reverberated up the floor into the very minds of the now still party. “They are coming!” cried Scarra. “We cannot get out,” lamented Harris, who again, is a hobbit. “Trapped!” cried Aoun. “Why did I delay? Why did I wait to build ISEC 2 before the end?” 

“Bar the gates - lock the Starbucks!” cried 6’4 Jeremie Bucheler, the only non-manlet on the entire Northeastern Hockey team. “No!” shouted Aoun. “The library is our only chance of escape! They don't know how to read. Keep the Northern Gate open!”

Another harsh horn-call and shrill cries rang out. Feet were coming down the corridor. The rank smell of beer and defeat seeped into the room. The B.U. students had broken in. 

Find out what happens in the next exciting edition of Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Just Kidding Hockey Players Don’t Get Fellowships


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