Northeastern Hillel under fire for "In the Golan Heights" Production

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settlers being very productive

the broadway diaspora- Shocking literally no one with any understanding of the campus climate, Northeastern Hillel has come under fire for their most recent collaboration with NU Stage: An adaptation of In The Heights titled “In the Golan Heights.”

“When I first signed up to be in the production , I thought it was simply the Lin-Manuel Miranda version,” said sophomore Evan Bartlow. “But when my audition included me having to wield a rifle and pretend to chase a Syrian man away from the Purple line, I started to get some doubts about how the play would be received.”

“In the Golan Heights” tells the tale of Yitzhak Morad, an Israeli shopkeeper living in a settlement in the illegally annexed Golan Heights, a man particularly fond of screaming at the locals. In addition, it follows the stories of his Syrian wage slaves he regularly threatens to report to the authorities, as they attempt to make enough money to leave an UNRWA refugee camp.

The production was the brainchild of Hillel director, Gilad Skolnick, who was seeking to find new ways to integrate Israeli culture into Northeastern life.

“After I left my job as a literal paid propagandist for the Israeli government, I figured this would be a good way to rebrand Hillel as hip to a campus of socially liberal hippies. Not sure why this didn’t work out.”

Skolnick believes the reaction to the play was overblown, but admits they probably could have timed things better.

“Do I think we could have waited until after Israel was done bombing children in Gaza? Maybe. But hey, if people are yelling at you it means you’re doing something right.”

The opening night of production was met with loud protests by NU SJP, who astonishingly reappeared after its disbandment last year, claiming that the Galactic Federation actually does not hold jurisdiction, and that the whole thing was probably a prank by George Lucas. Hunt News also received backlash for publishing a review praising the production, closing the comments on their Twitter account and releasing a statement calling criticism “literally 1984.”

The campus theater review had little to say about the production, simply writing: “Why do they keep doing this?”

At press time, Hillel has reportedly started a new artistic endeavor, a rap album mourning the departure of Israeli Prime Minister and chief MC daBibi.

2 comments

@twitterhandle
3 years ago

Evan Fartlow

Gigachad
2 years ago

ngl this is kinda cringe

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