A CS Major’s Top Ten Tips on How to be Popular

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Computer science major dreaming of being popular

Boston, MA – When you arrive at the spectacular university that is Northeastern, most students seek to make bonds with their peers in order to increase their social circles. However, some students, especially computer science majors, don’t have the best luck with this process. 

Speculators think it is due to them being too busy with their work to waste time talking to others or that being around technology so much has desensitized them to actual human interaction. 

However, as an self-proclaimed expert of at least six programming languages, I have decided to provide my insight as a multi-linguist to my fellow computer science majors on how to become popular. 

In my extensive research on the many people around me, I have compiled a list of steps of how to probably become passably popular. Make sure to follow these steps to the letter and do exactly as I do, or you’ll end up as a friendless incel, just like all other computer scientists.

  1. Be Passionate
  2. Never Eat Alone
  3. Plan Group Activities
  4. Be Unique
  5. Connect With Others
  6. Be Confident
  7. Be Yourself

The first step is to be passionate about something. I always try to make it very obvious how enamored I am with programming, and will talk about it with anyone who will listen to me, which is mostly just the dining staff at Steast. 

Next, make sure to never eat alone, as it will cause you to lack interaction with other people, therefore degrading your social skills (obviously because just like computer parts if you use them too much they stop working). That’s why I always make sure to eat dinner with my parents, whose basement I live in off-campus. 

Obviously, you need to plan activities to do with your friends, otherwise you won’t have much to do with them. Personally, I host homework review sessions every week for my friends to come to, and even if no one shows up, it is enough just to make the effort, as your friends will still appreciate it even if the activity is boring and annoying. 

Now, it’s also important to differentiate yourself from others. Everyone is unique and you need to show why you are the best choice of friend, and this varies from person to person. In my case, I make sure to never shower in order to preserve a totally unique scent you can’t get from just anyone. I’ve even received compliments such as “I smelled you from across the room” and “You have to smell the most out of anyone I’ve ever met.” 

Connecting with others is also very important, and you can very simply do that by sliding into their DMs on LinkedIn. It’s actually harmful to connect with people on an individual basis in my experience, as they tend to avoid you if you try to hang out with them in person. 

Finally, make sure to be confident. This is an easy one for me, as I know I am the programming genius of the century. I ensure everyone knows how smart I am, especially my professors and academic advisors, who all seem to be jealous of me, causing them to get annoyed as a result. 

Overall, just make sure to be yourself, as you can’t be that bad, right? Right?!?


Editor’s Note: Husky Husky’s private investigators have since done some research into his day-to-day life and have discovered that unsurprisingly Gamer-Bot has no friends and only was seen communicating with his professors and TAs who are obligated to do so as part of their job. We tried to find a computer science major who has friends for a comment, but we simply couldn’t find any. If you know of one, please contact us after making an obligatory call to the endangered species hotline.

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