Boston, MA – Cancel culture has claimed its latest victim—the 2021 Beanpot. After Goya CEO Bob Unanue’s outspoken support for President Trump, many have boycotted the bean company. To avoid being inadvertently associated with Goya beans, the 2021 Beanpot has been canceled.
“We just couldn’t risk any public backlash over being associated with beans,” said Jay Bush, a spokesperson for the tournament organizers. “The cancellation of Harvard’s season wasn’t really a factor in this decision. We were just going to sub in UMass, an arguably more prestigious school. And COVID-19 wasn’t a concern either. Northeastern is the only school whose students show up to the Beanpot anyway, so social distancing in TD Garden would have been easy. We were just concerned about our public image with this whole bean controversy.”
Progressive groups at various schools threatened to Tweet in outrage for a week or two if the Beanpot if the tournament was held.
“Holding a tournament associated with be*ns is incredibly insensitive, especially in these times,” said Supreme Leader Maurice the Great of the Northeastern Communist Clubs Coalition (NUCCC). “Any remote association with G*ya is a racist macroaggression, and we were prepared to take radical steps to fight such injustice.”
Cam Plainer, chief strategist for the NUCCC, outlined the menacing plan that scared organizers away from hosting the tournament. “We had several Change.org petitions ready to go, and we even had a vicious MySpace post ready to send to our 53 followers. We’re glad the tournament has been canceled in 2021 to avoid the need for such drastic measures.”
Tournament organizers are hopeful the controversy will have subsided enough that the 69th Beanpot can be held in 2022. Nice.
